Navigating Grief on Memorial Day: Understanding the Stages and Seeking Support

​As Memorial Day arrives, a day of remembrance for those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while serving their country, it can also be a poignant time for those who are grieving the loss of a loved one. Grief is a complex and deeply personal experience, and it's important to understand that the journey through grief looks different for everyone.

Grief is a unique and individual experience, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to it. However, many people find it helpful to understand the general stages of grief as described by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. These stages include:

1. Denial: Initially, it may be difficult to accept the reality of the loss. Denial acts as a protective mechanism, allowing us to gradually process the overwhelming emotions.
2. Anger: As the shock wears off, anger can arise. It is normal to feel anger towards the circumstances or even towards the person who has passed away. This anger is a natural part of the healing process.
3. Bargaining: During this stage, individuals may find themselves making deals or bargaining with a higher power. It is an attempt to regain control or find meaning in the loss.
4. Depression: Feelings of profound sadness, emptiness, and hopelessness are common during this stage. Depression can be a natural response to the significant loss experienced.
5. Acceptance: This stage is often misunderstood as a moment of full resolution. However, acceptance does not mean forgetting or moving on; it means coming to terms with the reality of the loss and integrating it into one's life.

​It's crucial to recognize that the stages of grief are not rigid steps to be followed in a linear fashion. Grief is a dynamic and ever-changing process. You may find yourself bouncing between different stages, experiencing them in varying intensities and durations. It's important to grant yourself permission to navigate these emotions without judgment or expectation.

​While grief is a natural response to loss, it can be an incredibly challenging journey to navigate alone. Seeking support from a therapist who specializes in grief counseling can provide immense comfort and guidance during this time. Here's why reaching out to a therapist can be beneficial:

1. A Safe Space for Expression: Therapy provides a confidential and non-judgmental environment where you can freely express your thoughts, feelings, and concerns without fear of burdening others.
2. Emotional Support: Grief can be overwhelming and isolating. Therapists are trained to provide emotional support, compassion, and validation, helping you feel understood and supported throughout the grieving process.
3. Coping Strategies: A therapist can equip you with effective coping strategies to manage the intensity of grief and navigate the challenges that arise. They can help you develop healthy ways to honor your loved one's memory and cope with your loss.
4. Facilitating Healing: Therapists can guide you through the healing process by assisting you in finding meaning and creating a new sense of identity in the absence of your loved one. They can help you establish a foundation for continued growth and resilience.

Memorial Day can serve as a poignant reminder of the loved ones we have lost. Understanding the stages of grief can provide a framework for navigating the complex emotions that arise during this time. Remember, grief is not a linear process, and it's okay to experience a mix of emotions. Seeking support from a therapist who specializes in grief counseling may be a good option for you. You do not have to grieve alone.

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The author, Camilla Olsen, CMHC, is licensed to see clients in the State of Utah. If you are interested in starting therapy with her, please fill out the Request an Appointment form on her website.
You may also be interested to know, that she has published several books and workbooks. Click here to read more about them!